Higher Ground

 

Hello 

It's December, hooray! With only a few weeks left of 2016, like most people, I have been trying to take stock of this year and look back at all the highs and lows. This was a challenging year for a lot of people, with everything from the loss of legends like Prince and David Bowie to Brexit and Trump winning the US presidential elections. 

I had my share of ups and downs in 2016. Without going into too much detail one of my lowest lows this year was having to go through a very tough break up. Ironically there is nothing in this world that brings more confusion and perspective in your life than a broken heart. On the flip side one of my highest highs this year was the purchase of my very first home. It has to be one of the scariest yet liberating things I have ever done, I feel like a grown up now! In as much as 2016 had its challenges and victories, I can't tell you enough how actively taking the time out to reflect on both good and bad saved me. 

 

 

Breathing life back into my blog was also a winning moment for me this year. I started the Black Diamond Series three years ago with no direction and no clue as to what exactly it's purpose was. Life happened and I fell off the blogging wagon for over a year. It pained me for the longest time to see my little project lifeless and barren. 

Reigniting my passion for my blog was a bit scary because I was plagued by imposter syndrome. I kept thinking what if I have lost my following, nobody really reads blogs anymore, what if people think my style ain't ish! In spite of all the self doubt I gave it another shot and I have had a wonderful reception back into the blogosphere and I have been able to reach more people than ever before. Most importantly I feel so privileged to be able to share a small piece of myself with the world through my thoughts and style inspiration. 

 

 

I attended the inaugural Stylista Blogger event a couple of weeks ago and it was just so awesome to be in a room with all these incredible bloggers that I look up to. One thing that stood out to me at the event that served as an affirmation was that there is a space for all of us. Each and every blogger had their own unique style and approach which was so refreshing. Shout out to Nkgabi of Diary of a Rad Black Woman and Delicia of Ugandan South African, you both are such incredible beings, I'm totally inspired! 

I have to give thanks to a couple of people who made my blogging experience pure magic this year. Thank you Ofentse for bringing my vision to life through your awesome photography, thank you also for putting up with my madness, my potty mouth and for never judging me (also for being a champ whenever I played the Lemonade album in my car). Thank you to Busi for making sure that I never ever have to do my own makeup for shoots again, you are a master and I can't wait for the world to recognize your talent. Thank you to my big sister Yvonne for always commenting on all my posts lol, family over everything! 

 

 

 

Ok so I know this is has quickly turned into the "thank you's" at the back of a music album sleeve, but I really would like to thank each and every one of you who has  visited the blog, dropped comments, liked my posts on social media, featured me on their pages, your support means so much to me. Ok I'm done 😊

Here are the outfit details:

Dress  -  Daily Friday (Superbalist)

Shoes  -  Glamorous (Superbalist)

Necklace  -  Aldo

Earrings  -  Lovisa

 

 

 

 

Just as a side note, it's been such a mission to explain the whole concept of me being a fashion blogger to my parents, in their minds I am now a "modeller"! 😂

Share some of your 2016 highs and lows with me by dropping me a comment on the blog or on Instagram. If you take nothing else out of this post, please just remember to never give up on yourself and your dreams. 

Happy holidays! 

Xoxo

 

Cranes In The Sky

 

Hello beautiful people

I have to be dead honest... the US Election results have shaken me to my core. I'm totally in shock that someone like that, having said and done the things he has, will now be at the helm of "the greatest country in the world". Words fail me. 

 

 

Had to get the tough news out of the way! In putting this post together I went through a few drafts. I didn't like the direction the post was going because I was moaning and complaining about a whole host of things... I'm pretty good at whining! Something about body image and just being tired.

However in the wake of what is happening in the world right now I think now more than ever, in the times of State Capture, Reality TV Star bigots winning the White House and ratings downgrade, taking on a positive approach is the only way to survive. It seems to be the only way to be.

 

 

In moments like these we just have to hold on to all the good things and if you look inward there are plenty of good things to not only acknowledge but to be grateful for. We have to look to the things that inspire us and drive us and channel our energies towards that. I also think now more than ever, we need to stop being spectators in society but to take active steps, no matter how small, to change things for the better.

Without making this post completely politically geared, I have to say Hillary Clinton's concession speech was incredible. I posted an excerpt on my Instagram page but I want to post it here for someone who may be feeling lost as a woman... 

..."And to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and to achieve your own dreams."...

 

 

In the face of defeat her words give me courage and remind me to keep going in spite of the obstacles ahead.

Back to the clothes right? On this day I was fah-heeling myself as you can see from the big smile on my face and all that sass! And for some reason my left hand just couldn't stay off my left hip! Here are the outfit details below.

 

 

 

T-shirt  -  Cotton On

Skirt  -  H&M

Heels  -  Zoom 

Necklace  -  Mr Price 

Earrings  -  H&M

Makeup done by my beloved Busi 😘 @Pumelo_makeup 

I know this was a somber post but do not lose heart!

Xoxo

 

Sky's the limit

Hello everybody

 

Hope you are all hanging in there as the end of the year literally hurtles towards us. I am chugging along some days I have loads of energy and other days the only thing I want to do is stay cuddled up in bed. I am fighting off that "can it be December already" mindset because there is still some time to go before then. How are you all coping with the end of year slump?

 

Been super busy with all my traveling but I would not trade the experiences I have had and the joy that comes with sharing, exploring and opening up your mind to new things for anything. I love how much perspective you get when you remove yourself from your day to day routine and plug yourself into something so far removed from your concept of "normal". For those who would like to see what I get up to on my adventures, check out my Instagram page.

 

I have been on a mission to surprise Ofentse with different locations and this particular one was just awesome. We did the shoot for this look at Shine Studios in Braamfontein. I absolutely love this place. It makes for an awesome rooftop venue for a party. A few months ago one of my besties, Sophia and I came to this venue for a rooftop yoga session held by Yoga Works and it was so awesome. Special shout out to Ntombi Maduna for helping me with all the planning. Been listening to a lot of old school 90's music and I have been stuck on Notorius B.I.G's "Sky's the limit" on repeat, hence the blog title. 

 

I was totally feeling myself on this day... I'm thinking it's the backless dress or me working that slit and getting my Angelina-Jolie's-left-leg on! Sending mad love out to my beloved Busi for once again making magic with this face! You absolutely have to check out her work on Insta @pumelo_make_up.

 

 

 

 

Here are the deets on the look:

Dress  -  Daily Friday (Superbalist)

Shoes  -  Europa Art Shoes

Earrings  -  Mr Price 

 

 

Happiness and love to you all

Xoxo

And it was called Yellow

 

Hello everybody 

Work has been quite hectic for Ofentse and I so between shooting, post production edits and actual putting this post together, things have been a bit crazy. But it's here finally! 

 

I am so delighted Spring is upon us, I was particularly looking forward to this Spring because Winter was such a period of growth for me. I felt the full effects of shedding the old to make way for the new and tried as best as I could to really embrace that period. The idea is to bring that same energy into this new Season. Revel in all the good and bask in gratitude. 

 

During this time of the year, most people are on a mission to Spring clean and get rid of the clutter in their lives both literally and figuratively. It can be anything from getting rid of items of clothing you no longer wear, to getting rid of apps on your phone that you haven't used in ages. 

 

For me, Spring decluttering has been more internal and emotionally geared. Letting go of hurt from failed relationships, letting go of disappointments and expectations. I even had to let go of an apartment I was looking to buy  which I had totally invested in emotionally. I loved this place and I went wild on Pinterest planning how I was going to decorate the place and just fill it with awesomeness. But it was just not meant to be. That's just how life is sometimes.

 

The lesson I have learned about decluttering is that there must be some sort of closure and consciousness around it. I have always taken "closure" for granted and I have never actively sought closure, often leaving things unresolved. Not no more! There is something so powerful and freeing about looking at something that once caused you heartache with new, refreshed eyes and looking beyond at the good that came out of that situation. 

 

This Spring I will be going on a few road trips which I am looking forward to, including a Yoga retreat in Mpumalanga and a trip to my hometown Mthatha, in the Eastern Cape Very excited about that, look out for all my adventures on Insta Stories and Snap Chat. 

 

Back to the look, I was feeling super inspired by how pretty everything looks with buds and flowers blossoming everywhere, the trees all bearing new bright green leaves. Love it! I also took inspiration from my friend Yongie who is tired of my concrete jungle backgrounds, in particular the Norton Rose Fulbright building! 

 

Special mention goes out to my beloved friend Busi Ncube for making magic with her makeup skills. Hit me up on Instagram for he deets. Also can I just take a minute to give praise to Ofentse for taking such gorgeous pictures! My team good, we don't even need a mascot! 

 

 

Dress  -  AX Paris (Superbalist)

Shoes  -  Steve Madden 

 

 

 

Have an awesome start to the new season, happy decluttering, love and positive vibes only!

Xoxo

Gone with the wind

 

Hello everyone 

I have always wanted to use this platform to allow my voice to be heard and to use my voice for something important. The idea was to always be honest and to share my experiences with my readers. So for this post which is very close to my heart I wanted to blog about self image. 

I have been exploring this topic quite a bit lately, what it means, how it is interlinked to identity, how confidence and body image all feature in the greater picture. I have been feeding off the posts of some of my favorite bloggers/vloggers, in particular Freddie Harrel. I absolutely love her and how authentically true she is to herself. I recently watched a video she posted up and something she said really stood out to me. She said that before she is black, or a woman, she is Freddie first. 

 

This statement has had me thinking quite a bit about all the boxes we place ourselves in, boxes such as race, culture, gender, religion or even profession. These boxes are safe, they provide us with some form of guidance on how we should be and how we should act. These boxes help us to define what "normal" is in our individual lives. These boxes shape how we see the world and ultimately how the world sees us.

It's made me think about how authentic I am being to myself and to the world when I am in typical lawyer mode or when I am being ultra feminine or even when I reject certain African cultural traditions because they don't necessarily fit in with my acquired western thinking. 

 

 

Don't get me wrong I totally get that being black, being a woman, even being an attorney has shaped who I am as "Belinda". I am not discounting these things at all. I do however have a problem when the world cherry picks how or who we should be based on the "boxes". Comments like "as a black person you must" or "as a woman you have to" or my personal favorite "as a Christian you can't" are a sure fire way to bring out the worst behavior in me. I am not any of those things in isolation, the sum of those parts make me whole. 

Another box I have a personal struggle with is that of the perfect body. I often get flack about my posts on the blog or on Instagram about me always putting my ass on display or that I have too many bikini pictures etc. I laugh inside and ask myself if only those people knew how many years it has taken me to get to a place where I am comfortable enough to show off my curves or not want to shrivel up and die at just the mere thought of wearing any type of swimsuit in public. 

 

As women so many of us have attended the Master Class on how to loathe our bodies and nitpick at all the things that we wish we could change. We have been masterfully trained to envy and worship "perfection" on others as well as shame those who don't meet our concept of body beautiful. Don't even get me started on the light skin dark skin thing. I just refuse to go there. 

When I think about self image, specifically in the context of race, gender, ethnicity, complexion, dress size, etc, I find that those things are all external yet have such a deep profound impact on us internally. I had a friend who once told me that she loved her curves but wished she was a bit lighter as that would make her feel more confident. Those words still haunt me until this day because in my eyes she is absolutely gorgeous the way she is. During the course of that conversation a selfish part of me questioned what she thought about me and my looks because I too am dark and curvy as well.

 

I find myself thinking as women why do so many of us shy away from allowing our confidence to come from our intelligence, our creative sides or purely our curiosity about the world? Why does our self confidence stem so much from our physical traits? Or on things with set rules like culture, religion or profession? Like Sway I don't have all the answers man! 

I do however think it's all a mental thing and unclogging the clutter of who are told we are or can be is a long process, that is of course if you want to clear the clutter. One of my favorite people to follow on Instagram is model Denise Bidot. Besides the fact that she is so beautiful and so confident, I love the fact that she has used her platform to start a movement called #Thereisnowrongwaytobeawoman (Those of you who actually read my posts on Instagram might have seen me use the hashtag). I'm so passionate about what she is doing for self image and how even if it's only one person i.e. Me, starting a change. For those curious check out @freddieharrel and @Denisebidot on Instagram.

 

I could literally go on about this forever but I kind of have to talk about this look as well right. It's been pretty chilly in Joburg lately so I was not about to slip into crop tops or dresses with mile high slits, no ma'am! It didn't help that this was a particularly windy day, made for some fun shots but I was freezing. I went a bit wild with the Winter Sales and this look was the result.

 

Deets on the outfit are as follows:

Shirt dress  -  Goldie London (Superbalist)

Leggings  -  Cotton On

Shoes  -  Forever New

Neckpiece  -  Big Blue

Leather Jacket  -  JHB CBD missions lol! 

Earrings  -  Mr Price 

 

 

In closing for anyone who has felt something positive stir within themselves from my musings on self image, don't be afraid to color in outside of the lines.

Xoxo