A girl has turned 30

 

I have spent weeks planning this post and trying to figure out how best put into words and pictures this particular chapter of my life. In a way this cycle of the blog is quickly becoming a time capsule for me and I wanted this post in particular to be very personal and to give my readers, well those of you who actually still read blogs, a little insight into where I am at in life.

 

So here goes, it may be a long read. Today I turn 30 and like I said in my previous post, this number used to terrify me because there are certain pressures that society places on us women of a certain age. Pressure to get married and have a family and if you aren't doing that then you should be climbing the corporate ladder or building an empire. I have felt that pressure and sometimes in the back of my mind there is this voice that whispers in my ear "have you done enough?" or "are you truly living?" or "are the choices you are making authentically you?" To be 100% honest I want all those things and I roll my eyes at anyone who says "it will happen in its own time"!

When I do manage to shake myself free from society's shackles and I truly introspect, I always catch myself for being so hard on myself and for not being appreciative of all that I have. As I said in my previous post the overarching feeling I have lately is that of gratitude. For one, growing older is a privilege not a curse and no that's not just me trying to make myself feel better. Every day we have is such an incredible gift, how many of us take the time to acknowledge this as we go about our day to day activities? 

 

I am also grateful for the people in my life from family to friends to colleagues to neighbors. I'm grateful to all those who see me at my absolute worst and still choose to love me, Lord knows I'm not easy to love. I'm even grateful for heartbreak, disappointment and loss because from that came growth, strength and wisdom. In those tough moments in life it's hard to see the positives but I have learned that once I have figured out what that lesson was in that storm, to cherish it.

 

If I'm being honest I am quite happy to say goodbye to my twenties and I am not attached to the number. Maybe ask me this same question when I turn 35! But seriously my twenties represent a time of coming of age. Everything was confusing. I made a lot of mistakes, broke hearts, had my own broken, drove my parents crazy, failed at so many things, lost friends, made new ones, fell on my face and ass, literally! I also allowed myself to be heavily influenced by everyone, so much so that I couldn't even recognize my own voice. I know I'm painting a very bleak picture of my life thus far, I promise it really hasn't all been gloom and doom. My twenties also embody finding independence, success, love, that laugh until you cry kind of laughter, traveling to some awesome places, perseverance and plenty of amazing memories. 

 

I find myself realizing more and more that all of those things where absolutely necessary in order for me to be at the place I'm at now. I am exactly where I'm meant to be at this point in my life. I feel like I can finally forgive myself for the bad choices I made and that I can finally celebrate the woman I have grown into.

 

There are a few things I want to take with me into my thirties and beyond that I would like to share with you. It will be a journey we go on together.

1. Everything has its own time and place, your patience will always be rewarded;
2. Know when to walk away from the table when love is no longer being served;
3. Know your worth and invest in yourself;
4. Never ever let anyone try to dim your light, nothing good comes from you playing small or diminishing yourself so that others won't feel insecure around you;
5. In everything have a thankful, appreciative heart; and
6. Anyone who plays you actually plays themselves, likewise if you are the one playing foolish games! 

I know it got a bit ratchet at the end but no truer words have ever been said! I don't know what the future holds for me but I truly hope that life will bless with me with more and more reasons to smile and laugh with fewer tears. I'm truly grateful for the past and excited about what lies ahead.

 

 

I was channeling my inner Solange Knowles for this look because she is a fellow Gemini and everything she does is awesome, unique and all her, no gimmicks. This sequined dress is a labour of love and a lot of altering had to happen for it to look like this. The fruits of being a short, curvy, thick-legged girl! My tailor did an amazing job and I literally want to wear this dress to everything, so when you see me in it for the tenth time act like you know! 

 

I also just have to put it out there that these shoes were "Lemonade" inspired, loved the color and I just thought they would be so much fun to wear. Special shout out to my glam squad, well squad in the making who beat this face to capacity!!! And another special shout out to my hair for cooperating with me!!! 

Outfit details below:

Dress - Lavish Alice (Superbalist)

Shoes - Steve Madden

Earrings - H&M

Xoxo